Rock, Paper, Suicide

I’m usually very free with hyperboles, but this is probably going to be the most honest post that I’ve ever written.


I think it’s reached that stage where I need to be truthful with myself, about who I am, and what I am not. After reading this post, it’s possible that some of you will have a much worse impression of me. I’m fine with that. You deserve to know who this guy in your life is. I will not mince words; in fact I’ll skip beating around the bush and just burn it down.

Progress Report, Term 1

Around me are grey walls. Smooth, grey walls with a slightly darker streak here and there. Nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, my laptop's right where it's supposed to be, which is to say a distance away from my already-stressed eyes. God, this is becoming unhealthy. But write I will, for write a long time I haven't done. Too long, in fact.

So what's different then? The walls are still grey, but they're mine. The laptop is on a desk as always, but it's my desk. Me? I'm sitting in my chair. That's right, folks, I'm home.

Another Day, Another Dawn

First off, the important stuff:

Happy New Year to all the readers/passers-by of Suburban KID from the blog committee! Thank you for the past two years-and-10-days of support!

Now, to the more...dreary stuff.

So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish (Christmas Special II)

If you don't understand the title, shame on you. Go look it up.

So much has been happening this month.

My blog has just celebrated it's 2nd birthday yesterday - although once again, I failed to do anything about it, Christmas is coming - yay! - and the year, this very interesting year, is ending.

Oh, yeah, and I'm leaving.

Life, Love and Loss

Dear reader,

Do you believe in miracles?

Life itself, is a miracle. It's a chance, an opportunity to prove yourself, to change the world, and, more simply, to just live it out and enjoy every turn.

Yesterday, life once again presented a miracle.

The Pursuit of Perfection

The year was 2008.

I, being the forgetful person that I've always known to be, have forgotten most of what had happened on that fruitful year. I'm going to tell you about about a conversation, but I've even forgotten what was the whol;e issue about in the first place.

Yes, I'm terrible.

I do, however, remember this:

An Incovenient Truth

Have you ever had that time when a good friend stands up to you and say: "You're a/an idiot/bitch/jerk/etc?"

I went through one of those times today.

Now, I want to make it clear: I appreciate these kinds of friends. They may sound harsh, but they really give you honest opinions, and most of your time, are your reality check. Your ONLY reality check.

So what's the fuss all about?

I was called arrogant. In other words, close to a jerk.

While this rather hurt me, it also forced me to sit down and take a good look at myself. I like being a confident person, but am I going too far? Am I becoming a self-centred person, who only cares of his own success and his well-being?

Am I becoming one of those people who makes sure nothing gets in his way to what he wants? One who doesn't care about being rude, just to look 'confident'?

Am I becoming self-possessed? To want everyone to know of my achievements, sticking my nose up to everyone else, who look inferior in my eyes?

I wasn't that confident and sure of myself some years back. And I can still feel traces of that uncertainty. I was scared to be in front of everyone. To stand up for what I felt was right, in fear of getting into trouble. Scared of being the one to stand up boldly and say, "Yes, I'll do it!" Scared to take that leap into unknown territory, in fear of looking weird or 'out-of-place', and not following the crowd. In short, scared of taking the risky path, in fear of the unknown.

But as I grew older, I realised that if I wanted new oppurtunities, new chances, I needed to let go of that fear. I needed to be sure of myself. Positive. Cool. Calm. Collected.

But really, am I going too far? To the point of no return?

I've thought for a long time on this. And the answer is: yes and no.

I know, it always is. But no one said life was easy. In fact, it's always the ****ing opposite.

The answer is yes when I apply this to my friends or family. Like what I always like to say, there's a time and place for everything. And the time for being over-confident is not with friends. Or family.

More importantly, no, during other times. Being slightly arrogant is part of my nature. It is part of identity, and to change that would be akin to getting a plastic surgery. And in truth, I like being confident. Who doesn't? I believe, if I can balance it properly, being arrogant is no bad thing. You're not going to get people looking up to you by being a coward.

Lastly, to that friend who stood up to me and said it to my face: Thank you.

Thank you for making me look at myself, something that I regretfully do too little. Thank you for making me realise that some parts of me are not as good as I think, and I need to work to change or balance myself. Most of all, thank you for being a great friend.