Proton and Lotus

  

VS

(Drumbeat)
Ok, ok. I’ll get to the point.
Some of us know that Proton owns Lotus, a great sportscar maker. And Proton, being rather inexperienced, always piles a lot of work on Proton Lotus. Example:
1.
Proton man: Hey, help us develop the chassis.
Lotus man: Yes, sir.

2.
Proton man: Hey, you guys develop sport cars right? Help us make the suspension.
Lotus man: Well… fine.
3.
Proton man: We need your help to tune the engine.
Lotus man: But sir…
Proton man: (raises eyebrow)
Lotus man: (sigh) All right, all right…

You see? Proton is claiming all the credit and the Malaysia Boleh and… etc.
But they’ve crossed the line.

Proton man: We want to claim that we’ve Lotus handling.
Lotus man: W-what??!! You can't! That's our line.
Proton man: (smug) Too late.

So now you get the slogan like this one:
"The new Proton Persona. Handles like a Lotus."

Lotus man: You... you... (storms off)

The next day...

"Why the only sports car that handles like a Lotus is a Lotus."

LOTUS BOLEH!

Terence Wang loves Lamborghini, but fully supports Lotus(not the F1 though)

Disclaimer: The above is 100% fiction, except for the Lotus ad which was spotted in the EVO magazine.

If I Was Prime Minister

Everybody would like to be king, president or PM if they could, wouldn't they? And I believe everyone of us have our plans for becoming the top leader. These, are mine. Well, what? It wouldn't be my mum's.
Now, unlike what some of you might think, I won't launch any stupid ideas here. The following are all logical and can be done.

1. Education

Ideal candidate: Pn. Eng Khoon Leng Myself(yeah!).

The Prime Minister can hold two posts. Therefore, I chose education.

Plans:

1. Fully revamp/change education system. All subjects will be optional, so a student can chooose subjects of interest instead of being fored to study all. Sports, skills(writing, singing etc.), and attitude will all count unlike now which is all exam, exam, exam.

2. Gadgets including phones, laptops will be allowed, but not allowed to be used during class(unless required by teacher) and those caught accessing disallowed content will be seriously punished.

3. E-learning(internet) will be highly encouraged.

2. Home Secuirity

Ideal candidate: Barack Obama (now it's too late, he's US president)

Namewee黄明志

I'm sure we all know this guy, right?

Plans:
1. Destroy every single law that hints dictatorship.

2. Allow no censorship besides for under-18 movies, which will not be edited or cut in any way.

3. Fully allow free speech.

4. Make discriminaton highly illegal.

5. Protect children's rights.

6. Animal abusers will be heavily punished.

3. Transport

Ideal candidate: Jeremy Clarkson

Hopefully I'll be able to get him to come here.

Plans:
1. Make transport system as efficient as Jit Sin prefects during spot-check.

2. Eliminate speed limits. (Germany also doesn't have speed limits, and they don't have many accidents)

3. Close certain unused roads at night for racers (so they don't race illegally)

4. Implement AFTA, so that Proton won't have government potection and therefore be eliminated when the Japanese swoop in.

Finance Minister

Ideal candidate: Francis Light (He's dead?! Oops..)

Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak (you're kidding, right?)

Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim

Plans:

Just 1: Abolish all protection for any party or company.

The other ministries are not so important, so I won't talk about them. By the way, please leave some comments below on your thoughts about being PM.

Terence Wang admits he will never be PM because he isn't a Malay or Muslim.

Disclaimer: This article is intented for certain readers only. The writer does not intend to offend or insult any politician mentioned in the article, for he is scared of ISA.

Robert Pattinson Shaving His Head???

Firstly, exam's over. Thank God!

Anyway, I was on the way to school when I heard on the radio, that the beloved-by-girls-but-obviously hated-by-boys-Robert Pattinson wants to shave his head. Possibbly for charity.

Now, we all know that Robert has had to keep that trademark hair for hairstyle for Twilight(what else does he have besides that?). And now that he's done with New Moon, he wants to lose it.

Me?

I say go ahead! If you live on Mars and haven't seen Robert Pattinson with the awful hair, here's a pic.

Hmm.

I know. It's terrible.

So the faster he gets rid of it, the better.

Then, apparently he's doing it for charity. How? Is he going to sell his hair? Like the hitz.fm morning crew suggested, putting his hair on dolls?

They'll sell like hot cakes, as far as I know.

Good luck. Hope you get hurt.

UPDATE: He's done it!!! Look!!!

Damn. He should have just shaved the whole thing. Still...

Terence Wang STILL HATES Robert Pattinson, hair or no hair.

Disclaimer: Although the writer has expressed his dislike on Robert Pattinson, he does not intend to offend/ insult him or anyone else in this article. Well, not really, anyway... 

Exam!!

So... 1st exam? Aiyah, never mind, sure pass...

NOT!!!

This is not an article, i just wanna wish all my friends good luck, and to get the results they desire. Break a leg, guys!!

Not literally.