Cry

Let me tell you a secret:
A secret that is neither open, nor closed,
A secret that everyone should know.

Sometimes,
When things blow up,
When shit happens,
When emotional stakes are too high for any guy to take.
I just want to sit in that corner,
Lie in that bed,
And cry.



But “no!” they cry,
You’re a guy, a soldier;
Man up, recruit!
Toughen yourself up,
This ain’t part of your job.
Let the little girls be the ones cryin’;
Suck up those tears, and stand strong.

Well, screw that,
I’m no robot, no mechanical hybrid;
I’m a bloody living being,
I can feel, like everyone else should.
And I ain’t talking about the shit you get by touchin’ and hittin’,
I’m talking about the pain carefully hidden,
Far and deep down the dark recesses of my being.

Cause what is more worthy of being called a ‘sense’?
Something that brings pain for a few hours, a few days,
Or a pain that gnaws away at your insides;
A pain that haunts your nights and changes your ways?
Yeah, I’m screaming now,
I want to crawl into that corner;
I want to crawl up onto that bed, and let the shit blow over.

I want to cry,
When I feel like I’m hitting a brick wall, and nothing’s working right,
When I release my pain by hitting another guy without even a fight,
When someone close says my changes are chasing everyone away,
When there’s no one there to give a guy help and show him the way,
I want to cry,
Because everything else has failed.

Well, screw that!
What’s the point anyway?
Crying only means you care about the fact;
“Accept who you are”, don’t they say?
And so I will,
Selfishness is my creed, and evil is my way;
It’s easier like this, is it not?

No more living under other people’s terms,
No more letting them decide.
No more trying to please others,
No more taking things in my stride.
Now I’m the one with the power,
I’m the one to be feared,
I’m the manipulator, the evil dictator.

But I can’t.
Maybe I’m weak, maybe I’m stupid,
But I can’t be the one that inflicts pain.
I can’t be the one that makes other people lose hope.
I can’t be the bad guy.
I can’t do this shit,
Cause this shit ain’t helping me anyway.

For the girls who think a guy crying is “all so romantic”;
Well thanks for letting us cry,
But this shit ain’t sweet;
When a guy cries,
It means that he’s screamed, he’s cursed, he’s punched his fists into the wall,
But nothing’s working right anymore,
Nothing good’s coming from it all;
He choking now, that face screwed to the core,
He just wants to be decent, but he can’t;
He just wants to be evil, but he can’t;
What to do? What to do?!
What am I supposed to do?

I want to cry.
I’m so numb, I want to die.
But I can’t even manage a tear.


Bonus: Listen to Kanye West's "POWER" while reading.