Calling Home is a series of articles dedicated to cherishing the memories made when away from home, and the people who make them. In Part 1/6, Priya Ramesh laments the blatant lack of appreciation for the world around us.
The waiter arrived, with my plate of Chiellini Del Piero and a glass of root beer. But even the saliva-inciting, delectable Italian meal with an unconventional yet wonderfully tantalizing drink could not shift my gaze from the couple at the table across.
Many of us in Singapore – locals, foreign students, scholars, permanent residents – have this habit of rushing. Everywhere. We keep running and running, trailing homework, tests, projects; perennially chasing deadlines, every single day. Sad to say, but this is the truth. We live a competitive life - always trying to beat the guy next to you, be it in your O Levels or the number of Instagram likes. In a world where we’re so caught up with ourselves – where I was so caught up with myself – the couple at the table across were a revelation; a standout. What made them stand out even more was another couple, at the table next to them.
You might think I’m a total creep, prying on two couples’ lives. Maybe I am, but what I saw that day changed my perspective on so many levels on so many things.
From the vague description above, it’s perfectly normal to think I’m crazy: they’re just two couples. Big deal.
Well actually, no. It was not the similarity between the two pairs; it was, in fact, the extreme contrast. The abundance of difference.
They were complete opposites. The first couple was completely immersed in their conversation. The other couple was immersed too…with their phones.
This was the part that really caught me however: in the first couple, the guy was deaf and mute. Not that it really seemed to matter to the girl. Their hands were moving up and down frantically, in a wonderfully elegant movement. It really was beautiful to see, the so-called disability could move no molehill. It was straight out of a chick flick, a fairytale story, except that it WAS happening in reality.
So, what about the other couple? Both perfectly able, and yet Instagram seemed to be more important.
Does something as drastic as not being able to speak have to happen in order for us to appreciate the presence of a loved one around?
It’s no rare sight, I realised. Walking back home I noticed around me, nearly everyone, facing the ground, pressing away at their phones made by a company with a fruit for a name. Old people, young people, mothers, children, boyfriends, granddaughters.
Often, we tend to miss out on the little things in life. No, no reference to that song, by that boy-band. We have this presumed notion that true love only exists in movies, that there never are happy endings in life. Well, say hello to the word ‘No’.
Often films reflect real life; the little things in real life. People seem to notice them more in a movie than in their own lives. A friendly smile from the lady at the stall from which you buy lunch every day. The happiness in the eyes of an elderly person to whom you’ve given up your seat. Acknowledge it, appreciate it.
Those of you who have the privilege of staying with your parents, appreciate them. All the small everyday sacrifices they make to keep you happy; they may not support everything you do and a lot of the times, you may wish they could just disappear. But trust me, when they really do ‘disappear’, you’re going to miss them more than you’ve missed anything.
When you’re in the company of a loved one, make full use of it. Your phone is not going to be there to pull you up when you fall down. Talk to them, share with them, love them unconditionally. You don’t need to spring out a big surprise every time you meet them, just little things for them, everyday.
I believe life is in the details. Ongoing small gestures can mean so much more than one grand display of love. Simple pleasures throughout the day can be far more gratifying than one amazing weekend. When you connect the dots between all these little joys, life seems fuller and more satisfying.
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