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Monday, May 21, 2012

The Vampire, The Witch, and the Werewolf


Poor Tim Burton. Described by NME as the “web’s favourite whipping boy”, sometimes things don’t go right for the man that clearly tries his best. His work, well-known for its quirkiness, is often subject to polarizing opinion from critics and movie-goers alike. Blockbuster hits like 1989’s Batman doesn’t save him from criticism for some of his less well-received work, like 2010’s Alice in Wonderland. (That said, the latter is still one of the top-grossing films of all time, so I suppose it counts for something.)


As such, it is with a mix of anticipation and curiosity in which one watches any new Tim Burton film. Even more so when you have Johnny Depp as the lead, in a three piece suit and Joker-like makeup. For me personally, it’s an even bigger departure from the usual, as this is the first movie that I’ve watched without knowing any background or reading any reviews beforehand. I was unarmed. And that made me vulnerable indeed.


So, Dark Shadows.



The moment the credits flashed on the screen and it was time to step out of the cinema, I knew this review would be a tough one to write. I was, in a sense, mind blown. And not necessarily in a good way.

The movie starts with a brief recount from the main character, Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) on how he - and subsequently the generations of Collins after him - was cursed by his obsessed lover, Angelique (Eva Green) into a vampire and stripped of his wealth and honour, locked away in a coffin for what was to be eternity. Fast forward 196 years, and we have a self-named Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote) on a train towards Collinswood, with little information given about her. As predicted, the vampire is inadvertently awakened, and sh*t gets real.



The good stuff first. Even by reading the movie poster, you’d guessed that Dark Shadows would have had one point very much in its favour - the cast. Johnny Depp, Eva Green.....Profit? Yes, very much so. The former in particular manages to stage a convincing performance, flexing his fingers in your face, shooting deadly stares and uttering long, pompous sentences just like......a vampire, really. In fact, his performance here rivals those from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Eva Green does well too, going all out in her acts as a bizarre mix of bimbo and witch, which turns out to be an extremely entertaining combination to watch, if a little creepy. All in all, much like The Avengers, the cast is its ace in the hole, doing a stellar job of manipulating the audience and keeping them engrossed in the movie.


Too bad then, that its the only ace up its sleeve.


The one best word to describe Dark Shadows is ‘confusing’. You could throw in a few choice others such as ‘weird’ and ‘convoluted mess’ as well. The plot can be, at best, described as “mediocre”. Which is rather surprising, given that the screenwriter is the reasonably well-rated novelist Seth Grahame-Smith. On one hand, it offers nothing unique or revolutionary, opting for the usual vampire themes of internal struggles, revenge and violence. On the other, it has a problem with self-identity, not knowing whether it wants to be a horror movie, a comedy or a love story, settling instead for an uncomfortable and unwieldy balance between the three.


And really, that’s the whole problem with this movie - the lack of identity. It tries to entertain, it tries to scare, it tries to touch. In the end, it doesn’t do any of them particularly well. Often, it suffers from inelegant transitions from one scene to the next, with Barnabas being cold and menacing in one, then clownish and hilarious in another. Many details are left unexplained, such as David’s mother, who just appears at random times to give mysterious messages to Winters. Worse, the last we see of her is when she comes to save David (also in a rather random fashion) and....... screams? Really? And then you have Carolyn (Chloe Moretz) suddenly becoming a werewolf in the end, with very little logical reasoning, or even any necessary meaning to it. The story is neither here nor there, with certain parts being well executed with exuberant detail, while others were simply rushed, no more than poorly-done hack jobs.


Now, make no mistake, this movie does have its moments: Johnny Depp coming face-to-face with the omnipresent McDonald logo, for example, was definitely a huge laugh-inducing moment. And I can well imagine the glint in the makers’ eyes as they imagined the audience’s facial expression during the violent little “make-out” scene between Depp and Green, which consisted mostly of either wide eyes and gaping mouths, or the total opposite. However, it isn’t enough to hide the glaring flaws that signal a piece of work that is unrefined, unfinished even.


If you love Johnny Depp, watch this movie. If you want to see Eva Green in full action, watch this movie. But for me, great actors are only part of what makes a good movie. Dark Shadows lacks those other parts.


Suburban KID score: 5.5

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