EVERYTHING WRITTEN BELOW IS NOT TRUE

Inspired by a close friend's April Fool's post, I decided to do one myself. Because of all the obvious clues I've put down, all of you will guess right away. All of you will be fooled, badly.

I've shook hands with a government minster. (And washed my hands thoroughly after that.)

My novel, The Mercenary(Book 1: Internal Conflict) has found a publisher!

I'm finally upgrading to Windows 7,

I'm now in a relationship,

And I've won ICAS English 2010.

M.E.(Editor) : But you have won The ICAS English 2010.
I: Yes, so?
M.E.: But I thought everything here is supposed to be "not true"?
I: Er...
M.E.: Well?
I: Happy April Fool's?